Occasionally I like to try and be funny by writing about something that shits me off, today I'm writing about something so evil, so diabolical that YOUR HEAD JUST MIGHT EXPLODE! Ladies and gentlemen, I am talking of those masters of evil... 'Bratz' and the term 'Bling Bling'!

'BRATZ'!

So I'm going to start off this rant with a big 'FUCK YOU' to whoever decided these slutbags were a fantastic fucking idea in the first place, thanks a lot dickhead, now look at what you've done. Seriously how the hell did they get the designs for these crotch farms? Were they simply cruising for hookers when they should have been designing dolls and decided to do both? Were they actually designed by hookers? Did they somehow get their masturbation material and the product sketches mixed up and ended up manufacturing borderline child pornography? I DON'T KNOW, ALL I KNOW IS THAT I HATE THEM! ALSO: CAPSLOCK! Have you seen them? They look like a pedophiles wet dream, and they're getting a live-action movie, which in my opinion is redundant, they already have hundreds of thousands of live-action movies! To find them just go to google and type in 'hardcore fucking' and you'll find them.

'THE TERM 'BLING BLING' AND ANY DERIATIVE OF SUCH INCLUDING JUST 'BLING''!

I wish I could put into words how much I TRUELY ha the term 'bling bling' I really do, if you regularly use this term I despise you, your parents, their parents and so on for 10 generations. Every time I see a generic black guy or a dumbass white guy say “DATS SOME BLINGBLING NIGGA” I fly into a homicidal rage, think I'm a bit extreme? THEN YOU'RE PART OF THE PROBLEM! It is 100% true that the words 'bling bling' are responsible for the following things:

-Global Warming!
-Every time you get bestiality in your inbox!
-Lost remote controls!
-The New World Order (and you thought it was the jews)!
-When you can't find a battery cover for something and you have to sticky tape in the batteries and it's a massive pain in the ass and they keep falling out all the time!

Whenever I ask anyone what the hell 'bling bling' is supposed to mean I always get the same answer “ITZ DA SOUND DA LITE MAKEZ WEN ITZ BOUNCIN OF DA CHAINZ ALSO I AM SEKSUALLY ATRACTED TO WILDLIFE” well I only have this to say, LIGHT DOESN'T MAKE ANY FUCKING NOISES.

Well that brings us to an end of “THINGS I HATE WITH THE BURNING POWER OF 1000 SUNS 1” I am an angry person so there will probably be a few more of these! Until next time, adieu!